Once upon a time, a people of great artistry and great knowledge ruled the planet Mekalion: the Kamille. For a thousand years, they prospered peacefully.
Then came disaster, when their sun set forever. Facing extinction, the Kamille made the Locus, a device to sustain their minds; and fashioned shape-changing machines, to act out their wishes on the physical planeā¦
Servants they called the Kamelion.
THE KAMELION EMPIRE
The fundamental problem with Kamelion as a character is that there’s apparently only one type of story you can do with him: he is possessed by some malign influence that twists him to its own ends. Big Finish gave it the old college try, and the trilogy ends with “The Kamelion Empire” by Jonathan Morris, which finally gives us the Kamelion origin story we… always wanted? Sure!
Morris always has interesting ideas rolling around in his brain and this script features some fine examples. Kamelion is from the planet Mekalion, once ruled by a race called the Kamille. When disaster struck the planet, the Kamille uploaded their consciousnesses into a machine called the Locus and created androids as vessels for their minds when they left the machine. Kamelion is, of course, one of these androids. So that’s why every Kamelion story involves him being possessed: because that’s literally what he was built for! Morris also presents an interesting idea that the Kamelion were used for diplomatic purposes: first as ambassadors, and then as infiltrators, subtly working their way into positions of power and controlling planets remotely for the Kamille. Yet they rule benevolently, and it all sounds rather benign – until the Doctor asks what happens to uncooperative planets and the answer is what it always is: genocide.
The big problem with “The Kamelion Empire” is its structure. Everything in the previous paragraph is described in the first two episodes, in which very little happens but we spend a great deal of time learning about Kamelion and his home world. But when Kamille warlord Chaos is unleashed the story takes a very wrong turn. Gone is all the subtle worldbuilding; taking its place is a dreary runaround featuring one of the most one-note villains in the history of Big Finish or indeed Doctor Who as a whole. Chaos stomps around, yelling and cackling – and then Morris decides to set much of the final two episodes on the TARDIS so we can hear Chaos stomp around the art gallery power station! The main console is destroyed, so the Doctor journeys to the secondary control room from season 14! It’s a weird, continuity-obsessed sequence that just feels dry and tired. And the denouement isn’t much better: it’s a long, labored setup for “The Five Doctors.” The TARDIS lands on the Eye of Orion, there’s an explanation for the new console, and it ends with Kamelion instructing the TARDIS crew to pretend as if he isn’t on board. We know why nobody mentioned Kamelion after “The King’s Demons:” the robot didn’t work! But in case you were wondering, now we have a scripted reason for it.
The characterization is quite strong throughout. This is very much the cranky, sarcastic later fifth Doctor, and Davison always enjoys playing the character that way. Turlough does what he always does, though his inevitable betrayal of the TARDIS crew is so transparently false that nobody falls for it except the bellowing one-dimensional maniac. Job done, I guess? And then there’s Tegan, who still wants to put Kamelion off the ship, but learns once and for all in this story that he’s her friend. Heartwarming, sure, but she was right in the first place – Kamelion is much more trouble than he’s worth. Also, the Doctor makes it very clear that his friendship with Kamelion is forever ended, which is why, at the end, he… builds him a special zero room and allows him to stay aboard the TARDIS indefinitely?
There’s a lot of good material in “The Kamelion Empire.” The characterization is great across the board, we learn a number of interesting things about Kamelion and his people, and Morris engages in some fantastic worldbuilding. Unfortunately, the plot is threadbare and the villain is laughably terrible while the story shies away from really engaging with its themes of identity. On balance, it’s fine, but I’ve heard better and so have you.
6/10