Celebrate 100 Doctor Who audios with four separate stories from four different writers.
1 Comment
Styre
on May 8, 2016 at 1:02 AM
100
Whenever it comes to a landmark release, Big Finish drops the ball. From the first release, “The Sirens of Time,” to the first McGann story, “Storm Warning,” to the anniversary debacle “Zagreus,” to the conclusion of the alternate universe arc, “The Next Life,” to the relaunch of the main range with “Renaissance of the Daleks” — they’re all awful. And this comes from someone who generally loves Big Finish’s product! There doesn’t seem to be a good reason for this, but nonetheless I was dreading listening to “100,” the 100th release in the main range and another self-described anniversary story. This time, BF opted for the format that suited them so well in “Circular Time” — four one-part stories — and brought in their most acclaimed authors — Jacqueline Rayner, Robert Shearman, Joseph Lidster, and Paul Cornell — to write the four parts. There’s no possible way that could fail, right? Wrong!
100 BC
It’s so out of character and out of place it should have been an Unbound: “What if the Doctor was an idiot, and Evelyn was even *more* stupid *and* a radical unthinking feminist?” Any promise built up in the opening scenes, with the Doctor apparently changing the course of history by interrupting a romantic evening, is rapidly crumpled up and thrown away by Evelyn’s appalling stupidity. She decides that the world would have been a much better, more peaceful place had it been ruled throughout history by women — ignoring the countless examples of violent, warmongering female rulers — and that a female emperor on the Roman throne would have brought this to pass. Never mind that a woman never would have risen to that position of authority, never mind that there were other significant female rulers in the world at this very moment in time — are we seriously expected to believe that a university professor of history is this ignorant, this naïve? And how does the Doctor respond to this apparent threat to the entire history of Earth? Farcical games intended to trick Evelyn and to get the parents Caesar into bed! And let’s say nothing of the fact that neither the Doctor nor Evelyn have any idea that Julius Caesar had sisters! *And* the fact that the Doctor, Lord of Time from the ancient and mysterious planet Gallifrey, forgets that the years count the other way in BC! I’ve been saying that Rayner’s truly abysmal new series novels were surprising coming from the author of two great Big Finish audios — well, now it looks like I shouldn’t have been surprised. This is wretched. I give it a 10 — out of 100! Oh, I’m hilarious.
1/10
MY OWN PRIVATE WOLFGANG
Thankfully, Rob Shearman comes along to save the day. There’s a key difference between this and “100 BC” — while both are intended to be lighthearted farces, “My Own Private Wolfgang” doesn’t sabotage its characters in the process. It has a great hook — the great genius Mozart being known for his atrocious later albums — and a delightfully insane background, with an army of future Mozart clones attending their own predecessor’s 100th birthday concert, at which he tries to shoot himself. The ending, an hilarious recursive nightmare reminiscent of something like Futurama, is delightful, and I almost drove off the road laughing at the closing punchline. I’m not sure if David Darlington or Andy Hardwick wrote the fake “bad Mozart” pieces, but I enjoyed them. So yes, it’s pretty much by definition the slightest thing Shearman has written for Doctor Who, and yes, it’s thoroughly silly, but everyone involved — particularly John Sessions — clearly had a lot of fun, and so did I.
8/10
BEDTIME STORY
It’s Joseph Lidster on autopilot, which means that it’s still pretty good even if it’s fairly predictable. I realized, while listening to this, that the 25 minute single episode probably isn’t the best format for Lidster — he’s at his best when he can build up his characters over two hours, or when he can present vignettes like those in the Short Trips anthologies. Here, it seems just a bit rushed: the Doctor’s involvement feels perfunctory and hurried, for example. But the twists are some of Lidster’s best: from the revelation about the shapeshifter to the misleading happy ending to the final punch in the stomach, Lidster keeps the listener guessing. Yes, there’s the usual angst, but it’s not as affecting as it would be with more development — and while Talia’s (Martha Cope) “revelation” about her infidelity is fairly believable, Jacob’s (Will Thorp) response isn’t. Regardless, this is the best story of the four, and it gives Maggie Stables a chance to have some fun with a villainous character. If only the two middle stories were the only ones on the discs!
8/10
100 DAYS OF THE DOCTOR
We’ll get the good stuff out of the way: Andy Hardwick’s music is stunning and memorable, one of the better scores I’ve heard in a while from BF. Here ends the good stuff, and here begins the rest: this story is awful. I can imagine the brief to Paul Cornell: “Could you write ‘Happy Endings’ for BF, but could you make it terrible?” The central conceit is passable enough, and the opening few minutes appear to be setting up an intriguing production, but all promise is lost the moment the Doctor and Evelyn watch non-speaking Davison, Peri, and Erimem from afar and talk about how awesome they are. Oh, isn’t it amazing how much more appealing Peri is now that Erimem is with her! Oh, wasn’t the fifth Doctor’s life such a jolly holiday! (Honestly, as much as BF would like to pretend otherwise, the Davison era was pretty damn miserable for the character. I sometimes wonder if they’ve ever seen season 21.) Look! There’s Sylvester McCoy! Isn’t his Doctor so much better with a “family,” rather than what he had on TV? And there’s McGann, Charley, and C’rizz… playing poker with McGann and Lucie! How droll! And what’s this? References to UNIT, Doctor Who Unbound, Gallifrey, and the Benny series! And yes, Nick Briggs is in it at the end! Gosh, isn’t Big Finish wonderful? Christ, make it stop! Here’s the difference: “Happy Endings” was a celebration of the New Adventures as stories; “100 Days of the Doctor” is a celebration of Big Finish as product. I’m already a fan. You don’t need to tell me how great you are. You want to celebrate 100 releases? Let me relax in the company of my favorite characters, don’t make smug asides about how much the audience must enjoy listening to you. And yes, in the grand scheme of things this is only one 25 minute episode out of hundreds, but this isn’t just self-congratulatory, it’s narcissistic, and it’s the sort of thing that makes me wonder why I bother. Unconscionable.
0/10
The CD extras contain interviews with Briggs, Shearman, and the cast.
So, two entertaining, if slight, stories bookended by two of the worst productions in the history of the company. Big Finish cocks up yet another celebratory release? You don’t say. Averaging the scores gives us:
100
Whenever it comes to a landmark release, Big Finish drops the ball. From the first release, “The Sirens of Time,” to the first McGann story, “Storm Warning,” to the anniversary debacle “Zagreus,” to the conclusion of the alternate universe arc, “The Next Life,” to the relaunch of the main range with “Renaissance of the Daleks” — they’re all awful. And this comes from someone who generally loves Big Finish’s product! There doesn’t seem to be a good reason for this, but nonetheless I was dreading listening to “100,” the 100th release in the main range and another self-described anniversary story. This time, BF opted for the format that suited them so well in “Circular Time” — four one-part stories — and brought in their most acclaimed authors — Jacqueline Rayner, Robert Shearman, Joseph Lidster, and Paul Cornell — to write the four parts. There’s no possible way that could fail, right? Wrong!
100 BC
It’s so out of character and out of place it should have been an Unbound: “What if the Doctor was an idiot, and Evelyn was even *more* stupid *and* a radical unthinking feminist?” Any promise built up in the opening scenes, with the Doctor apparently changing the course of history by interrupting a romantic evening, is rapidly crumpled up and thrown away by Evelyn’s appalling stupidity. She decides that the world would have been a much better, more peaceful place had it been ruled throughout history by women — ignoring the countless examples of violent, warmongering female rulers — and that a female emperor on the Roman throne would have brought this to pass. Never mind that a woman never would have risen to that position of authority, never mind that there were other significant female rulers in the world at this very moment in time — are we seriously expected to believe that a university professor of history is this ignorant, this naïve? And how does the Doctor respond to this apparent threat to the entire history of Earth? Farcical games intended to trick Evelyn and to get the parents Caesar into bed! And let’s say nothing of the fact that neither the Doctor nor Evelyn have any idea that Julius Caesar had sisters! *And* the fact that the Doctor, Lord of Time from the ancient and mysterious planet Gallifrey, forgets that the years count the other way in BC! I’ve been saying that Rayner’s truly abysmal new series novels were surprising coming from the author of two great Big Finish audios — well, now it looks like I shouldn’t have been surprised. This is wretched. I give it a 10 — out of 100! Oh, I’m hilarious.
1/10
MY OWN PRIVATE WOLFGANG
Thankfully, Rob Shearman comes along to save the day. There’s a key difference between this and “100 BC” — while both are intended to be lighthearted farces, “My Own Private Wolfgang” doesn’t sabotage its characters in the process. It has a great hook — the great genius Mozart being known for his atrocious later albums — and a delightfully insane background, with an army of future Mozart clones attending their own predecessor’s 100th birthday concert, at which he tries to shoot himself. The ending, an hilarious recursive nightmare reminiscent of something like Futurama, is delightful, and I almost drove off the road laughing at the closing punchline. I’m not sure if David Darlington or Andy Hardwick wrote the fake “bad Mozart” pieces, but I enjoyed them. So yes, it’s pretty much by definition the slightest thing Shearman has written for Doctor Who, and yes, it’s thoroughly silly, but everyone involved — particularly John Sessions — clearly had a lot of fun, and so did I.
8/10
BEDTIME STORY
It’s Joseph Lidster on autopilot, which means that it’s still pretty good even if it’s fairly predictable. I realized, while listening to this, that the 25 minute single episode probably isn’t the best format for Lidster — he’s at his best when he can build up his characters over two hours, or when he can present vignettes like those in the Short Trips anthologies. Here, it seems just a bit rushed: the Doctor’s involvement feels perfunctory and hurried, for example. But the twists are some of Lidster’s best: from the revelation about the shapeshifter to the misleading happy ending to the final punch in the stomach, Lidster keeps the listener guessing. Yes, there’s the usual angst, but it’s not as affecting as it would be with more development — and while Talia’s (Martha Cope) “revelation” about her infidelity is fairly believable, Jacob’s (Will Thorp) response isn’t. Regardless, this is the best story of the four, and it gives Maggie Stables a chance to have some fun with a villainous character. If only the two middle stories were the only ones on the discs!
8/10
100 DAYS OF THE DOCTOR
We’ll get the good stuff out of the way: Andy Hardwick’s music is stunning and memorable, one of the better scores I’ve heard in a while from BF. Here ends the good stuff, and here begins the rest: this story is awful. I can imagine the brief to Paul Cornell: “Could you write ‘Happy Endings’ for BF, but could you make it terrible?” The central conceit is passable enough, and the opening few minutes appear to be setting up an intriguing production, but all promise is lost the moment the Doctor and Evelyn watch non-speaking Davison, Peri, and Erimem from afar and talk about how awesome they are. Oh, isn’t it amazing how much more appealing Peri is now that Erimem is with her! Oh, wasn’t the fifth Doctor’s life such a jolly holiday! (Honestly, as much as BF would like to pretend otherwise, the Davison era was pretty damn miserable for the character. I sometimes wonder if they’ve ever seen season 21.) Look! There’s Sylvester McCoy! Isn’t his Doctor so much better with a “family,” rather than what he had on TV? And there’s McGann, Charley, and C’rizz… playing poker with McGann and Lucie! How droll! And what’s this? References to UNIT, Doctor Who Unbound, Gallifrey, and the Benny series! And yes, Nick Briggs is in it at the end! Gosh, isn’t Big Finish wonderful? Christ, make it stop! Here’s the difference: “Happy Endings” was a celebration of the New Adventures as stories; “100 Days of the Doctor” is a celebration of Big Finish as product. I’m already a fan. You don’t need to tell me how great you are. You want to celebrate 100 releases? Let me relax in the company of my favorite characters, don’t make smug asides about how much the audience must enjoy listening to you. And yes, in the grand scheme of things this is only one 25 minute episode out of hundreds, but this isn’t just self-congratulatory, it’s narcissistic, and it’s the sort of thing that makes me wonder why I bother. Unconscionable.
0/10
The CD extras contain interviews with Briggs, Shearman, and the cast.
So, two entertaining, if slight, stories bookended by two of the worst productions in the history of the company. Big Finish cocks up yet another celebratory release? You don’t say. Averaging the scores gives us:
4/10