The first time the fearsome Kraals attempted to take over the Earth, with the help of their android agents, things didn’t go quite according to plan – thanks to the time-travelling alien Doctor and his allies at UNIT.
This time, Marshal Grinmal and his belligerent cohorts are ready for them. This time, they’ll make no mistakes. This time, Chief Scientist Tyngworg has not just one plan, but a back-up plan, and a back-up back-up plan worked out…
With the Doctor a prisoner on the Kraals’ radiation-blasted home planet of Oseidon, only his companion Leela can save the day – alongside a most unlikely ally.
THE OSEIDON ADVENTURE
The first series of Big Finish’s Fourth Doctor Adventures comes to a close with Alan Barnes’ “The Oseidon Adventure,” essentially the second part of the story begun in “Trail of the White Worm.” “Oseidon” abandons the inconsistencies of its predecessor and adopts a whimsical, lighthearted tone instead – it’s a bit more enjoyable because of this, but its desire to capture nostalgia instead of drama encapsulates the problems with this range as a whole.
The biggest problem with “Oseidon” is right on the cover: it marks the return of the Kraals to Doctor Who. I think it’s entirely fair to say that, while every story has its fans, nobody was seriously agitating for a return for the bad guys from “The Android Invasion.” And while I understand that their status as crap villains is exploited here for entertainment value, it begs the question of whether Big Finish has any interest in anything beyond nostalgia in this range. As I’ve said elsewhere, if you want it to feel like “Saturday teatime in 1977,” go get a 1977 Doctor Who DVD off the shelf and watch it on Saturday. I don’t need to hear the Doctor return to Nerva on audio; I can watch “The Ark in Space.” I don’t need to hear the fourth Doctor battle the Daleks; I can watch “Genesis.” Of course, that changes if the new material does something original or compelling, but that’s not what’s happening here.
Yes, there’s entertainment value here. The image of Leela and the Master fleeing gunfire on horseback is absolutely hilarious, and the relentlessly overcomplicated android duplicate plotting is the best kind of silly. I particularly enjoyed the sequence where the Doctor attempts to convince the Master that he is his own android duplicate, but fails miserably. Every scene with Tom Baker and Geoffrey Beevers is delightful, really – they both possess perfect audio voices and they juxtapose beautifully. But then you run into things like the Master’s scheme, which is patently ludicrous – seriously? Everything that’s been happening is a diversion so that he can steal a battery from UNIT HQ? Couldn’t he just wear a rubber mask or hypnotize the guards? Isn’t this Master supposed to be on the brink of death, desperate to survive? Is he really prone to these sub-Ainley bouts of foolishness? Michael Cochrane continues to amuse, but this time Spindleton is presented as a complete idiot and waste of everyone’s time. The Kraals aren’t even given the chance to be interesting or threatening; the Doctor’s “Oh, my prophetic soul!” exclamation is wildly out of place considering what they do next.
Andy Hardwick’s sound design is perfect for the nostalgic feel of the play, as he employs multiple sound effects from “The Android Invasion” and other stories of the era. Ken Bentley’s direction is snappy and the playful tone of the story keeps it from getting boring. Ultimately, though, “The Oseidon Adventure” – and much of this series – just isn’t intended for someone like me. I don’t dislike nostalgia, but I like having something along with it. I don’t grade audio stories – or novels, or comics, or anything else – based on how well they capture the spirit of the TV series. There’s nothing in “The Oseidon Adventure” that we haven’t seen done elsewhere, and very little that we haven’t seen done much better. If you just want to hear the fourth Doctor and the Master sharing some scenes, and have a laugh or two, pick it up. If not, there are better places to spend money.
Not recommended.
5/10
The funniest bit is in the blurb for this play. “The fearsome Kraals”
That had me laughing before I heard it.