Christmas and Doctor Who are inextricably linked. From the moment the Daleks first appeared at yule-tide to the regular Annual under the tree.
Christmas and Doctor Who are inextricably linked. From the moment the Daleks first appeared at yule-tide to the regular Annual under the tree.
SHORT TRIPS: A CHRISTMAS TREASURY
With ten short story collections released, Big Finish attempted a new variety of anthology: a seasonally-themed book. Edited by author-extraordinare Paul Cornell, A Christmas Treasury combined stories, poems, and even recipes into the most unique, dynamic anthology yet released. But was the content up to par?
Last Christmas — Simon Guerrier — A melancholy story, making it an interesting choice to kick off the collection, but very well written as always from Guerrier. Great use of the Doctor, too — his mood is perfect for the tale.
UNIT Christmas Parties: First Christmas — Nick Wallace — A cheerful tale that gets the season 7 Pertwee off Earth and simultaneously shows him making an effort to extend an olive branch to the UNIT personnel. Also nice to see Yates still marginalized at this point.
In the TARDIS: Christmas Day — Val Douglas — Hilarious! Great little poem — love Tegan drinking Foster’s, too.
Water’s Edge — Peter Adamson — Excellent prose, but this story is something of an odd conceit — given the preponderance of historicals in Doctor Who already, did this really need the time travel element? It almost seems disrespectful to think that a tragedy needs an outside element to become sympathetic.
A Yuletide Tale — Dave Stone — Rarely do I laugh out loud reading Doctor Who, but this had me in stitches throughout. Hilarious Dickens satire, plus the appearance at the end of the Doctor is funny as well. Anything featuring a character named “Crafty Sh–tehawk” is good in my book.
Spookasem — Peter Anghelides — Anghelides does a wonderful job of capturing the narrative style of a young child, plus his descriptions of the Doctor are note-perfect. The story’s somewhat frightening, too — though I’m at a loss to see what this has to do with Christmas.
Christmas Special — Marc Platt — Speaking as a heathen American, I have no idea what this is about.
Never Seen Cairo — Darren Sellars — A respectful portrayal of the World War I between-trenches Christmas soccer matches, this is a sad but ultimately uplifting story with a great ending and a perfect appearance from McCoy. Great stuff.
The Man Who (Nearly) Killed Christmas — Mark Michalowski — The season 6b Troughton is sent by the Time Lords to stop Santa destroying the time/space continuum! Brilliant! Seeing the Doctor trying to do Santa’s job is hysterical, and the framing device is a hoot as well. A delight.
Last Minute Shopping — Neil Perryman — Perryman absolutely nails the regulars, especially Tegan, and the image of Turlough in a lingerie shop had me laughing yet again. But what was going on with Tegan’s present?
Every Day — Stephen Fewell — A very dark story about a time loop and its effects on a family, this story asks an unusual question: what if every day was nothing but Christmas? The answer appears to be that those involved would quickly turn homicidal. This is a strange situation for the Hartnell regulars but Fewell writes them quite well.
The Eight Doctors of Christmas — Matthew Griffiths — Oh dear. Not only is it unfunny, the rhyme and meter are offensively poor. “Cute” does not equal “good” or even “worth reading,” I’m afraid.
The Little Things — Paul Beardsley — A great season 17 story in the Gareth Roberts/Jonathan Morris tradition. Beardsley effortlessly captures the regulars and shows a nice grasp of Douglas Adams-style humor: the “chrono-historical stress gauge” is hilarious. Thumbs up.
Beep the Meep’s Grundian Egg Nog — Paul Condon — Worth a try the next time the holiday season rolls around.
The Brig’s Brandy Butter — Paul Condon — Anyone that suggests the use of Jack Daniels in a recipe is a friend of mine.
The Game of Rassilon — Lawrence Miles — Odd, and it sounds surprisingly difficult to play — but I think the real entertainment value here is in Miles’ tongue-in-cheek descriptions of the companions’ and monsters’ abilities.
UNIT Christmas Parties: Christmas Truce — Terrance Dicks — The first official Doctor Who short story written by Dicks, and to nobody’s surprise it’s about the “UNIT family.” Of course he gets the regulars note-perfect, and the conversation between the Doctor and the Master is surprisingly touching.
Animus, Zarbi, Menoptra — Jim Sangster — I have the faint suspicion that the first time this game was played, alcohol was involved.
Camilla’s O-Negative Mulled Wine — Paul Condon — More alcohol? What’s on the next page, “Tom Baker’s Straight Shots of Gin?”
Mrs. Baddeley’s Mini Christmas Pudding Truffles — Paul Condon — Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without it. I am hilarious.
The Clanging Chimes of Doom — Jonathan Morris — Not to be outdone, Morris turns in his own season 17 story, presenting us with the amusing conceit of the Doctor going around collecting autographs. More delightful Adamsian humor with the multiple time travelers appearing sequentially. Excellent stuff.
On Being Five — Jo Fletcher — Cute, fun poem from someone who’s apparently “accomplished,” whatever that means. I’m not sure what this has to do with Christmas, though.
Perfect Present — Andy Campbell — Brilliant concept: the Doctor showing a man who should have been a companion what was missed. Naming the guy Klaus is overdoing it a little, though. Yet another note-perfect Doctor — the standard of writing in this anthology is remarkably high.
Present Tense — Ian Potter — Apparently season 17 is perfect for Christmas stories: it’s perfectly fourth Doctor to buy the same present twice and create a double paradox. “Precisely awkward hug” is wonderful, too. I suppose someone who hated this era wouldn’t like these stories, but I’m enjoying them all.
Goodwill Toward Men — J. Shaun Lyon — A well-written story, and something which makes a meaningful point. However, this gets too preachy at times: “You’d think that a powerful country such as the United States of America…” etc. etc. etc. is more excessive than even The Green Death. I do love the last line, though.
It’s a Lovely Day Tomorrow — Martin Day — Another story that plays with perceptions: here the Doctor and Leela are dismissed as Christmas ghosts. This does underscore just how ridiculous the Doctor appears when introduced into foreign situations — but yet it feels rather insignificant.
All Our Christmases — Steve Lyons — A treatise on why not to give Doctor Who fans the power of time travel. Lord, imagine what we’d do to the new series? Lyons always writes these paradox stories well, and his Doctor is excellent as usual.
Lily — Jackie Marshall — Well-written and poignant, but to me this fell over the edge into cloying sentimentality. Honestly, the Doctor visits Sarah in the future and helps her to connect with her autistic grandchild after church near Christmas and they all end up dancing? Come on.
…Be Forgot — Cavan Scott & Mark Wright — Okay, look. I know Big Finish publishes the Doctor Who short story anthologies, and I know they publish the Bernice Summerfield range, and I know Paul Cornell created the character. But this is a Benny story, not a Doctor Who story, and it’s full of in-jokes and character references that are completely inaccessible to anyone, like me, that’s only read the Doctor Who ranges. Even if the Doctor’s briefly in it, this is completely out of place.
The Feast of Seven… Eight (and Nine) — Vanessa Bishop — Remarkably mean-spirited for the tone of this anthology. Do we really need gay jokes about the various Doctors? I mean, really? And did you know Colin’s a bit fat and that Pertwee lisped? Ha ha! Worthless.
UNIT Christmas Parties: Ships That Pass — Karen Dunn — An odd pairing in this one: the fourth Doctor and UNIT. It’s fairly obvious and straightforward, but the conversations between Sarah and Harry are worth your time. Not sure I like the Doctor’s characterization, though.
Evergreen — Stephen Cole — I’d assume “Tara Samms” would be a bit too bleak for this anthology, so Stephen Cole shows up in his usual guise… and gives us a bleak story about a lonely, haunted woman, the Doctor, and a vampire child. It’s good, but the vampire comes across as a plot device rather than a legitimate development.
There’s enough variety and amusement to be found in A Christmas Treasury to make it well worth the price of admission. There are some weak entries, to be sure — and some very questionable poetry — but on the whole the standard here is very high, making this one of Big Finish’s stronger anthologies. Highly recommended.