A crucial period for British Imperial Expansion; and for the influential members of the Hell Fire Club Bedlam is where we find The Doctor – not as a visitor – but incarcerated. Drugged and bound, the Doctor is so panic stricken that even his own identity is in question.
Minuet in Hell
Blurb Earth, 1762 AD. A crucial period for British Imperial Expansion; and for the influential members of the HELL FIRE CLUB Bedlam is where we find The Doctor – not as a visitor – but incarcerated Drugged and bound, the Doctor is so panic stricken that even his own identity is in question. Gideon Spoonbill will provide an answer. Meanwhile, back at MEDMENHAM ABBEY Count Ogolien prepares for the ultimate materialisation – Almighty Lucifer… the Devil himself!
Part 1
The story begins with Ria sneaking into the Tardis console room to get herself back home to Calfedoria. She thinks that if she doesn’t do it herself, the Doctor will never get her there in one piece. Finally, a companion who’s been paying attention! Get out while you still can! But she makes a mistake and the Tardis console starts overheating. The Doctor runs in and makes an emergency dematerialization, but there is a terrible pain in his head.
CUE THEME MUSIC
A satanic chant is in progress, led by the Lord Sandwich. The Doctor finds himself in a cell, talking about how Gallifreyan legends speak of a world of anguish. It seems to the Doctor that he is trapped in Hell. The satanic chant was part of a ceremony of the Hellfire Club, which, made up of half of the English aristocracy, serve the King by day and Lucifer by night. They are awaiting the arrival of some new young girls, known as the Pretty Little Satin Bottoms. Sheesh. Meanwhile, at the Bedlam asylum, the latest arrivals are being examined. One of them is Gideon Spoonbill, a man who, though well spoken and clear headed, had a fit of madness earlier in the day. The other inmate is a jibbering lunatic saying that he is a time traveler who has come back to visit an old Scottish friend. Clearly deranged…
The Lord Sandwich meets with an aristocrat who claims that he can help him actually summon Lucifer to the Hellfire Club.
Meanwhile (a lot of subplots going on) Ria has lost her memory and has been taken in as a Pretty Little Satin Bottom. Through the wonders of time travel, will Ria introduce the lapdance to 18th century social elites? The Doctor is desperate to get out of the assylum. Spoonbill tells him that to get out, he should first admit that he is mad. But the Doctor knows that he is sane. He says that he has studied psychiatry and should be helping his fellow inmates.
“Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, you’re glib!”
Gideon tells the Doctor that he’s mad, talking about metal monsters and gigantic bombs. When the jailer comes to give him his medicine, the Doctor makes his escape. But the guard catches him and roughs him up. Ria is in the middle of the Hellfire Club, with a bunch of old perverts making advances on her. A slightly less perverted pervert, Jack Wilkes, defends her honor, and takes her for a walk in the moonlight. The two come across a “strange temple” in the bushes, and Jack passes out drunk. Ria is able to open the door to the “temple” and finds a demon inside. The demon begs for pity and help. It says that it can’t move. The force of gravity is too much for it. It says it was captured. It isn’t a demon at all, but an alien. Lord Sandwich and his wicked socialite pals make plans to make this demon arise at an appointed hour. And meanwhile, back at Bedlam, Gideon Spoonbill tells the Doctor that he himself is the Doctor. Got that? Ria is caught and hypnotized. Gideon tells the Doctor that a freak accident with the Tardis made the real Doctor, who Gideon says is the fake Doctor, think that he was the Doctor (which he is). Got that???
There’s a little more, but for the sake of clarity, lets call this the end of part 1, OK?
CUE THEME MUSIC
Part 2
The demon/alien is a Gosolin, a creature born to kill. But whenever it kills, it becomes very weak and vulnerable. Lord Sandwich addresses the Hellfire Club and promises to summon Lucifer for them at midnight. Ria and company go to the asylum to spring the Doctor. Ria tells them that Spoonbill is the Doctor. Ria’s captors, who want the Doctor dead, kill Spoonbill. Ria tells the Doctor that she did it to trick her captors, and the two head for the exit. What ensues is a load of exposition that puts most fiction to shame. The plot is laid out in a tongue twisting 60-second marathon. Bad guys want to control demon alien so that they can rule to world, etc etc. That old chestnut. The Doctor confronts the bad guys, but they hypnotize Ria. hoot shoot bang bang, I dunno quite what happens. How’s that for a description? Anyway, Sandwich yells out his invocation, but the demon does not appear. I dunno. Such a whiz-bang, all of a sudden resolution that I don’t get it. And if I did get it, I think I’d be really upset because it resolved itself so easily. 1 hour of climbing suspense and drama, then BANG, ALL OVER. Did ya miss it? Grrrr…. Then it ends. Yeah, then it ends. Honest to God, it just ends. Yeah, bad guys beaten. Good prevails. I mean… COME ON! I hate it when they do that!
Evaluation
Minuet in Hell is probably the most evocative Audio Visual that had been released at the time. The sound design is excellent. The sound quality is top notch. The actors are all on form. It’s just such a shame that the resolution was an afterthought. Part 1 ran for 45 minutes. Part 2 runs for 16 minutes. The rest of the tape is behind the scenes production stuff. I don’t know if they added that because the story ended so quickly, or if the story ended quickly so that they could add it. I was enjoying it all the way through. Alan W. Lear, who sadly passed away a couple of months ago, had a talent for bringing the dark and sinister to life. This is aided by the excellent acting of Michael Wisher as the Lord Sandwich. That man was born to summon demons! Eat your heart out, Roger Delgado! It’s really a shame that more attention wasn’t given to the resolution of the play. And poor Gideon Spoonbill. Ria has him killed to save the Doctor. Yikes.
Overall for the first 50 minutes: 10 out of 10
Overall for the ending: What ending?
Minuet in Big Finish Hell
As you probably know, Minuet in Hell was adapted into a Big Finish production, featuring Paul McGann as the Doctor, as well as Charley and the Brigadier. The adaptation was a major departure from the Audio Visuals version. It is considerably longer, takes place in near-contemporary America, and features accents that make up for anything that Dick Van Dyke ever did to England. It was plagued with production problems, and really suffers as a result. It would have been nice to keep the story the same as the original, but to give it a worthy ending. Unfortunately, it ends up as an overlong mess.
Knowing your Cranes
In the original Minuet in Hell, the Doctor, played by Nick Briggs, meets a fellow inmate named Gideon Spoonbill.
In the Big Finish Adaptation, the Doctor, played by Paul McGann, meets a fellow inmate named Gideon Crane, played by Nick Briggs.
A Spoonbill Crane is a bird that subsists primarily on aquatic plant and animal life.
NEXT TIME
I get myself pumped and try not to coagulate as I review BLOOD CIRCUIT. You see, because it’s blood.