Whether made of flesh and bone, or created in the deep recesses of the mind, monsters are terrible things.
1 Comment
Styre
on May 8, 2016 at 1:34 AM
SHORT TRIPS: MONSTERS
The back cover of Big Finish’s ninth anthology seems to promise a series of stories in the vein of A Universe of Terrors: “Monsters are terrible things…” or “Don’t read it alone…” clearly stating that this is a horror anthology. Of course, this is immediately revealed to be misleading, if not outright untrue, by the inside flap, which more correctly (though not really) labels the stories as “look[ing] at the concept of ‘monster.’” Ian Farrington’s other collection, Past Tense, had this same problem — and it was also very average with a lot of wasted potential. Could Monsters make an improvement?
Best Seller — Ian Mond & Danny Oz — Very well written, with fine characterization of the regulars. Unfortunately, the story itself is nonsensical, and doesn’t seem to know whether or not it wants to be a comedy, for as a straight satire it doesn’t really work. It’s also maddeningly similar to a later story in the same collection: more on that later. Notably, their earlier story in Past Tense had exactly the same problems.
From Eternity — Jim Mortimore — Yet again, Mortimore pushes the boundaries of Doctor Who fiction, presenting an alien creature so immense and so powerful that it is able to perceive the entirety of the universe and the life contained within. The revelation is unexpected, leading to a satisfying read — though many readers will have a very hard time relating to the text.
Last Rites — Marc Platt — This is Platt working in overdrive, with giant hordes of rats tying themselves together into immense mobile spheres while the Doctor tries to help a race of aliens escape a blighted planet. Excellent prose and better characterization — it’s obvious that Platt wrote for the McCoy era on television — lead to one of the finer stories in the collection, one that’s actually frightening from time to time.
The Touch of the Nurazh — Stephen Hatcher — Here we go again with another boring, unoriginal, unintelligent, cliched Pertwee story. Pertwee moralizes at everyone, Jo’s an idiot who gets hypnotized by everyone, and the Master gets manipulated by an alien race and finds out he’s not actually in control of the situation, leading to the Doctor having to save the day. Yawn. Oh, and there’s a stupid scene at the end attempting to justify Pertwee’s apparent future knowledge of his appearance in The Five Doctors — I really hope this wasn’t the justification for writing this. Then again, Hatcher’s “Ante Bellum,” again in Past Tense, wasn’t very good either.
Flashpoint — Matt Grady — A nice little story, and I loved the Liz-unknowingly-meets-fifth-Doctor plot device. Still, there’s not much that distinguishes this story as featuring a “monster” — it’d almost have fit better in the Life Science anthology. Grady has a flair for descriptive language, though…
These Things Take Time — Samantha Baker — …and Baker doesn’t. Yet another reused author from Past Tense whose first story wasn’t very good, here Baker gets worse, with some of the worst dialogue I’ve ever read in a Doctor Who story. McCoy and Ace are painfully cliched, and new BF companion Hex was utterly indistinguishable from the scenery. And what on earth does this have to do with monsters? Nothing at all — this is a complete waste of time.
Categorical Imperative — Simon Guerrier — These multi-Doctor stories are already getting old. You can see the authors realizing that having them all team up and bicker whilst having adventures doesn’t work, so now we’re looking for more and more preposterous excuses (a jury room, this) for putting them all together in the same place. The shifting perspectives work fairly well, but this is yet another “go back in time and kill Hitler” story that bores everyone to tears — and it contains one of those copout endings that scifi writers love to use after presenting their characters with seemingly impossible choices.
Trapped! — Joseph Lidster — This is more like it. Yet another excellent offering from Lidster, who sets up a perfectly banal workplace/everyday environment and then interrupts it with horribly gruesome vampire violence. I also love how he introduces the vampire in a way that makes the reader think of McCoy, and the characterization of the regulars is wonderfully disturbing. It’s a shame Zagreus decided to retcon vampires’ nature, because this is how it should be done. Excellent.
Not So Much a Programme, More a Way of Life — Anthony Keetch — I had high expectations for this after Keetch’s excellent “Twin Piques” and “Bide-a-Wee” offerings in previous anthologies, but this is terrible. It features the sort of prose you get when a decent author starts thinking he’s Joyce — read the introductory paragraphs and wince — as well as unfunny humor and some unbelievably poor use of metaphor. Plus it’s the longest story in the collection and it just goes on and on and on. How this got past an editor is a mystery to me.
Screamager — Jacqueline Rayner — Attempting to equate Victoria’s screams with the advent of death is a wonderful conceit, and Rayner does a fine job of evoking the period as well as the fear of the Black Plague. Not much of a plot, but stories like this don’t necessarily need one. Decent work.
The Colour of Monsters — Steve Lyons — The only story which actually examines the concept of “monster” features a little girl’s perspective on meeting a warlike alien and that alien’s view of the human child. The end is somewhat abrupt, and the alien’s lines are perhaps too over the top, but this is still a nice examination of the relationship.
Overall, Monsters is probably the worst Big Finish short story collection yet. Several authors were recommissioned from Farrington’s previous anthology and, generally, made the same mistakes or got even worse. This is also the first anthology with a substandard level of prose in some of its stories, and neither of its marketing claims (a scary monster stories collection or a set of stories which examine the concept of “monster”) are true. It would seem that Ian Farrington simply isn’t a good editor, as neither this nor Past Tense proved impressive at all, despite one or two excellent stories in each. Disappointing, and not recommended.
SHORT TRIPS: MONSTERS
The back cover of Big Finish’s ninth anthology seems to promise a series of stories in the vein of A Universe of Terrors: “Monsters are terrible things…” or “Don’t read it alone…” clearly stating that this is a horror anthology. Of course, this is immediately revealed to be misleading, if not outright untrue, by the inside flap, which more correctly (though not really) labels the stories as “look[ing] at the concept of ‘monster.’” Ian Farrington’s other collection, Past Tense, had this same problem — and it was also very average with a lot of wasted potential. Could Monsters make an improvement?
Best Seller — Ian Mond & Danny Oz — Very well written, with fine characterization of the regulars. Unfortunately, the story itself is nonsensical, and doesn’t seem to know whether or not it wants to be a comedy, for as a straight satire it doesn’t really work. It’s also maddeningly similar to a later story in the same collection: more on that later. Notably, their earlier story in Past Tense had exactly the same problems.
From Eternity — Jim Mortimore — Yet again, Mortimore pushes the boundaries of Doctor Who fiction, presenting an alien creature so immense and so powerful that it is able to perceive the entirety of the universe and the life contained within. The revelation is unexpected, leading to a satisfying read — though many readers will have a very hard time relating to the text.
Last Rites — Marc Platt — This is Platt working in overdrive, with giant hordes of rats tying themselves together into immense mobile spheres while the Doctor tries to help a race of aliens escape a blighted planet. Excellent prose and better characterization — it’s obvious that Platt wrote for the McCoy era on television — lead to one of the finer stories in the collection, one that’s actually frightening from time to time.
The Touch of the Nurazh — Stephen Hatcher — Here we go again with another boring, unoriginal, unintelligent, cliched Pertwee story. Pertwee moralizes at everyone, Jo’s an idiot who gets hypnotized by everyone, and the Master gets manipulated by an alien race and finds out he’s not actually in control of the situation, leading to the Doctor having to save the day. Yawn. Oh, and there’s a stupid scene at the end attempting to justify Pertwee’s apparent future knowledge of his appearance in The Five Doctors — I really hope this wasn’t the justification for writing this. Then again, Hatcher’s “Ante Bellum,” again in Past Tense, wasn’t very good either.
Flashpoint — Matt Grady — A nice little story, and I loved the Liz-unknowingly-meets-fifth-Doctor plot device. Still, there’s not much that distinguishes this story as featuring a “monster” — it’d almost have fit better in the Life Science anthology. Grady has a flair for descriptive language, though…
These Things Take Time — Samantha Baker — …and Baker doesn’t. Yet another reused author from Past Tense whose first story wasn’t very good, here Baker gets worse, with some of the worst dialogue I’ve ever read in a Doctor Who story. McCoy and Ace are painfully cliched, and new BF companion Hex was utterly indistinguishable from the scenery. And what on earth does this have to do with monsters? Nothing at all — this is a complete waste of time.
Categorical Imperative — Simon Guerrier — These multi-Doctor stories are already getting old. You can see the authors realizing that having them all team up and bicker whilst having adventures doesn’t work, so now we’re looking for more and more preposterous excuses (a jury room, this) for putting them all together in the same place. The shifting perspectives work fairly well, but this is yet another “go back in time and kill Hitler” story that bores everyone to tears — and it contains one of those copout endings that scifi writers love to use after presenting their characters with seemingly impossible choices.
Trapped! — Joseph Lidster — This is more like it. Yet another excellent offering from Lidster, who sets up a perfectly banal workplace/everyday environment and then interrupts it with horribly gruesome vampire violence. I also love how he introduces the vampire in a way that makes the reader think of McCoy, and the characterization of the regulars is wonderfully disturbing. It’s a shame Zagreus decided to retcon vampires’ nature, because this is how it should be done. Excellent.
Not So Much a Programme, More a Way of Life — Anthony Keetch — I had high expectations for this after Keetch’s excellent “Twin Piques” and “Bide-a-Wee” offerings in previous anthologies, but this is terrible. It features the sort of prose you get when a decent author starts thinking he’s Joyce — read the introductory paragraphs and wince — as well as unfunny humor and some unbelievably poor use of metaphor. Plus it’s the longest story in the collection and it just goes on and on and on. How this got past an editor is a mystery to me.
Screamager — Jacqueline Rayner — Attempting to equate Victoria’s screams with the advent of death is a wonderful conceit, and Rayner does a fine job of evoking the period as well as the fear of the Black Plague. Not much of a plot, but stories like this don’t necessarily need one. Decent work.
The Colour of Monsters — Steve Lyons — The only story which actually examines the concept of “monster” features a little girl’s perspective on meeting a warlike alien and that alien’s view of the human child. The end is somewhat abrupt, and the alien’s lines are perhaps too over the top, but this is still a nice examination of the relationship.
Overall, Monsters is probably the worst Big Finish short story collection yet. Several authors were recommissioned from Farrington’s previous anthology and, generally, made the same mistakes or got even worse. This is also the first anthology with a substandard level of prose in some of its stories, and neither of its marketing claims (a scary monster stories collection or a set of stories which examine the concept of “monster”) are true. It would seem that Ian Farrington simply isn’t a good editor, as neither this nor Past Tense proved impressive at all, despite one or two excellent stories in each. Disappointing, and not recommended.